What kind of douche bag do you think that I am?

Do you really think that I will sit around and wait for your IM? At one point in time I considered you a friend but not any more. You broke that trust and its never going to be the same again. I see you trying to avoid me, you can pretend like I am not there but when I show my face again; your petty jealousy rears its ugly head. I don’t care if your house is nice, it’s yours and you own it. I can’t say that. But I can take pride in what is mine. While you were living at Mommy and Daddy’s, I worked and I tried. Are you just beginning to realize that? Or have you settled, become stagnant, breeding ground for decay?

Yes, I know I escaped from where you are but you can’t be happy for me? Still stuck in that playground bickering, not caring that I tried to raise you up, when you were at your lowest. When I offered a new way of thinking and a new light on the situation, you decided to shut me out and shit on me. I tried to make you see that there was a better way. You took your choices and ran, there is nothing that I can do for you.

I have moved on and I feel bad for what you have become, hold that past tighter and maybe I will see what you have yet to be. I can see the start that you are trying to make but don’t expect me to be there. This one is all on you. It’s your choice, it’s your decision to act in the way that you are.

You want to call names, and petty threats are lost on ears that will no longer hear. I tried to help you but you turned your back on the friendship that can no longer be. I cant be a friend to someone that will not be the person that they are meant to be. I remember the friend that you once were, kind and caring, open and loving but something has shut down in you and I cant put myself out there for someone that is no longer there.

I will miss you. You were once upon a time a close friend. I let you in but for some reason you decided not to join the party. And you of all people know that I don’t let people close to me. You broke a trust that I hold dear and it will take a lot of work if you want it back; I am not going to extend that olive branch. That is on your shoulders and yours alone.

Maybe its too late to see what could have been, like so many others that are something, maybe, so could of you been. A little too late, a sympathy too late. Once that could of sufficed, but not anymore. You can take your places and you can take your faces but you will always be the same kind of trash as me. As much as you try to hide the accent that I let out at times; humble beginnings, sometimes makes you remember what you have to keep learning.

I know that I am not perfect and I do not have the perfect life but at least I try to be happy, I try to have my life. It may not be much buts mine and I can claim it as a happy life. Can you do the same? Are you still the same person that you were when he left, too afraid to be alone? Too afraid to be apart? Too codependent to by yourself? These are questions that you have to ask your self. I can no longer help you. This is your burden and yours alone.